Adolescence （青春期） is a hard time for parents! It's a time when many children change from sweet and lovely little things to great big monsters, and communication seems to come to a stop. Many parents experience arguing or even fighting when talking to their teenagers in their adolescence.
It doesn't have to be like that though. While you might feel sad at the poor communication between you and your teen, knowing how to speak to them properly is something that will be wise for you. It will also go a long way to break those heart walls between you. It's not just about talking to them; it's also about learning how to listen to them, so that they feel comfortable to talk. This means rethinking how you communicate and making sure you actually do talk to them rather than talk at them. It also means being able to share thoughts and opinions, rather than just imposing （强加） your own. You need to make friends with them, and then they may share their problems with you.
If you take steps now to change how you communicate, you might be able to improve your relationship and make your teen come to you for advice. In order to know what's going on in your teen's life, you need to keep the door of communication open. Never act like a spy. If they find out they have been under watch secretly, you might lose any chance of good communication.
If you keep ignoring your teenager because you're busy, then they will feel that you don't care about them and won't come to you when they need you. Having a conversation while playing with your smartphone means you aren't paying full attention to them, and they will think that you don't put them in an important place. What's more, it is a bad habit and they will pick it up, because children learn from adults. They will think it's okay to talk while doing something else, such as looking at their phone. Remember you should set a good example for them.
