What is a family? Why does it matter? What does it teach us that we can't learn on our own? These questions seem especially relevant in the holiday season when it is often our tradition to gather as families and celebrate together.
My mother was one of twelve children. As they grew up, married and had children of their own, most of them lived near enough to gather for holidays at my grandparents' home in a small town in the mountains of North Carolina.
I don't recall getting many gifts from them. I remember the sense of belonging, of being part of something that assured me I was loved and not alone. I delighted in the laughing playing and fighting with my crazy cousins, I watched my granddad and uncles sit on the porch(门廊), rain or shine, smoking and joking arguing about politics and trying to solve the problems of the world. I listened to grandmother, mother and aunts stir pots on the stove and talk about their lives, hopes, dreams and disappointments, and gossip about any sister who failed to show up. The food was always plentiful and delicious — country ham, sweet potatoes, green beans, biscuits and my grandmother's banana pudding. But for me, the food was never the highlight. The highlight was simply being together. A family.
However, they're all gone now. My parents and grandparents, my aunts and males have left this world for the next. My cousins are scattered(分散) here and there. And yet the memories linger, along with the love that we shared. I treasure those memories and the things they taught me. They told me that families aren't perfect, but they prepare us to find our way in an imperfect world. They made me realize that all families are crazy in their own peculiar(独特的) ways.
My husband and I are growing a new family while keeping close to the surviving members of the families. It's a beautiful blend (混合) of kindness, traditions nurturing(养育) and friendships, which grows year after year.
I hope this holiday season will fill you with lovely memories of the family that raised you, and surround you with all the people who mean "family" to you now.
