I am a recovering perfectionist and learning to play again saved me. I remember playing a lot when I was younger and being1with a sense of openness, curiosity and joy. 2, my attitude began changing from playfulness to perfectionism. Instead of being present and3the process, I started focusing on performance. The more I did this, the more anxious, critical and4I grew.
I first developed perfectionist when I was5piano lessons in school. I got the idea that I had to6each note again and again to perform each song perfectly. I started hating piano and eventually7. My perfectionism8into other areas of my life, too. In school, I9 myself to get straight A's, and if I earned anything10, I felt like a failure. At this time in my life, I believed that if I worked11enough, I could do everything right and look perfect.
It12me several years to find happiness again. One of the major things that helped me do so was recovering a sense of13. About this time, my friend Amy and I started taking fencing (击剑) lessons together. I was quite bad at it, but it didn't14. I didn't care about performing15 moves. Instead, I cared about being present with16in the process and staying open and curious. I felt free and17, and I realized that I had been18playfulness for many years. Fencing helped me rediscover play and leave perfectionism19. When we practice playfulness, life becomes a (an)20, and there is always something more to learn, explore and enjoy.
