If you want to make a great first impression—and why wouldn't you—you know there are basic steps you can take: you should smile, make eye contact, talk less than the other person, and ask questions about him or her. Anyone can do those things.
But what you might not know is that if you think other people are going to like you, they usually will. As research shows, interpersonal warmth explains the scene: study participants who expected to be accepted were sensed as more likable. (when you think other people will like you, you act in a more natural way—which then makes people like you more since we tend to like warm, friendly people.)
All of which sounds great, but when you're shy or insecure, you might believe that other people will like you. When you're not familiar with the setting or do not feel comfortable, it's a lot easier to believe people don't like you.
So how can you convince yourself that people will like you? Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and commit to taking a few steps that ensure almost anyone will like you.
⒈Give a sincere compliment(称赞).
Everyone loves praise, especially since no one gets enough praise. Show interest by asking questions. But go past, "What do you do?" Ask what it's like to do what the person does. Ask what's hard about it. Ask what the person loves about it. You'll soon find things to compliment.
⒉Focus on letting people talk about themselves.
People love to talk about themselves.
Research shows approximately 40 percent of everyday speech is spent telling other people what we think or feel—basically, talking about our subjective experiences.
By helping people talk about themselves, you're seen as a great conversationalist. In fact, you say very little. Even if you haven't succeeded in making people fully understand you, it is OK. And in the process, you also make other people feel better about themselves, and that makes them like you.
That's another win-win.
⒊Change one word.
Think about the difference in these statements:
I had to go to a meeting.
I got to meet with some great people.
I have to interview some candidates for a job.
I get to select a great person to join our team.
No big deal, right? Wrong. We like to be around the people who have enthusiasm and motivation.
Keep in mind choosing the right words also affects how you feel. Don't say, "I have to go to the gym." Say, "I want to go to the gym."
⒋Show a little weakness.
Great teams are often led by people willing to admit weaknesses and failings.
Want to make a great first impression? Don't try to impress. Instead, be humble. Admit your mistakes. Laugh at yourself.
When you do, other people won't laugh at you. They'll laugh with you.
And they'll immediately like you, and want to be around you more.
Common sense | If you want to make a great first impression, you are to smile, make eye contact, more than you talk, and ask questions about the other person. |
Interpersonal warmth principle | If you think other people are going to like you, they usually will, so you act more and make yourself liked more since everyone tends to like warm, friendly people. |
When you're in an unfamiliar setting or feel , it's a lot easier to assume that people you. | |
for being likable | ●Everyone loves to be , especially since no one gets enough praise. Show interest by asking questions, you'll soon find things to compliment. |
●By helping people talk about themselves, you're seen as a great conversationalist even when you say very little. Maybe you needn't all of your ideas across. | |
●We like to be around and motivated people, so keep in mind choosing the right words also affects how you feel. | |
●Admit weaknesses and failings, other people will laugh with you of laughing at you. |
