What makes a person a giver or a taker? The idea of “give versus take” takes shape in all relationships of our lives. We're either giving advice, making time for people, or we're on the receiving end. We alternate between the two based on different situations we face on a daily basis, it not an hourly one.
According to Adam Grant, a professor at Pennsylvania University, most people are matchers. They make careful observations on takers and make it a point for them to pay something back. They hate to see people who act so generously towards others without receiving any reward. Actually, most matchers will try to promote and support givers so that they can get the good they deserve.
Another professor named Hannah Rile Bowles, from Harvard University, led a study on the idea. She asked 200 senior managers to sit down in pairs where one person would act as the boss and the other as an employee to negotiate salary promotions. Male employees asked for an average salary of $146 k while the females asked for only $141 k. But why did they not bargain as hard as the men? Simply because they were more likely to be givers.
As a woman, I do enjoy the act of giving up my time, my knowledge and my care and attention to others. I don't expect anything in return, but I do tend to pull myself away when I feel like I'm being taken for granted. I also tend to get upset when I see a loved one's continuous actions of kindness go unnoticed. So it's safe to say I'm 50% giver,35% matcher and 15% taker.
I do know someone, however, who is 99% giver. They're devoting their time, sharing valuable insights and going out of their way for everyone who crosses their path. Although they've changed the lives of many people, they rarely see any of it returned. But the universe is slowly repaying them; they're now extremely successful, well known for what they do.
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