It has been a year since I found out my friend had passed away. I still store his phone number, even though I know calling the number will never reach him again. I feel like if I deleted (删除) his phone number, it would mean he was really gone.
Over the past few years, we have planned to travel together just to see the dolphins in the sea. However, for some reasons it didn't happen, yet I always took his calls over the years. We shared a lot of interests.
When I knew that he had been diagnosed (诊断) with a very serious illness and was in hospital, I remembered sending messages to him. I did not receive a message back, so I left a voicemail. A week later, I sent him a message once again. However, I still didn't get a reply. I thought he was busy. During the next several months I was very busy, too. Suddenly, in that mid-summer, I received a short message: "Sorry, Marlynn, He has passed away."
I was very sad and surprised at the words. I was very sad and regretful. I regretted that I let the months pass without trying again. I worked with many people who had also lost their best friends. The sadness is often unspeakable. There is guilt (内疚), helplessness and sadness that is difficult to put into words.
Now I try to be grateful for the times and memories we have. I realize the best thing that we can do is value the ones we love.
