Why Do We Find It Hard to Say "No"?
As we all know, saying "no" to others is not easy at all. But sometimes we have to learn to say "no". Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say "no":
● You are a kind soul at heart. You don't want to turn the person away and you want to help when possible, even if it may eat into your time.
● Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the idea that saying "no", especially to people who are older, is rude. This thinking is common in Asian culture, where face saving is important.
● Wanting to be agreeable. You don't want to alienate (疏远) yourself from the group because you're not in agreement. So you agree to others' requests.
● Fear of conflict (冲突) This might lead to an ugly confrontation (面对). Even if there isn't, there might be disagreement which might lead to bad effects in the future.
● Perhaps you are worried saying "no" means closing doors. For example, one of my friends' wives was asked to work in another department in her company. Since she liked her team, she didn't want to go. However, she didn't want to say "no" as she felt it would affect her promotion (晋升) chances in the future.
A. Wanting to help others.
B. Fear of losing chances.
C. Wanting to keep a good relationship.
D. I slowly realized I needed to learn to say "no".
E. You are afraid the person might be angry if you refuse him / her.
F. It means not making others look bad or lose face.
G. To learn to say "no", we have to first understand what's stopping us from it.
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