It is obvious that all of our childhood memories are not accidental. When you are a child, every scent, every sound, every move, every toy, the first day of school, the first kiss, the first step… Everything together makes what is the personality of a man. All these are pieces of one whole entity.
I was about 6 years old. My mom's best friend left to another town and asked my mom to stay at her place with me for two days in order to look after her two sons. One was a little older than I was, and the second boy appeared to be super grown-up, for he was already fourteen. I always enjoyed staying at their place.
I remember the second day we were supposed to have the come-back party for my mom's friend at her place. I woke up. Mom went to work and reminded me to be nice and clean by the time she came back. I stayed with Tony, the older of the boys and suddenly somebody called him and though he was not permitted to leave me alone-he left. He said it would not be long. But it took him forever. I realized that I was alone. I could not come out of the house, so I opened the window. I was so desperate. So lonely. So betrayed. At that moment I pulled the curtain so strongly that I fell on the floor. And there I was standing-one little criminal-desperate to escape and knowing that I would be punished for destroying the curtain that was not even ours.
But then something changed. I stopped weeping. I looked around and realized that I was in a safe place, and that mom would come back and kiss me no matter what I had done.
This was a moment of pure happiness, not the happiness of getting a new toy or a dog, or going to the party of your best friend. It was the moment of clarity for me-the first time in my life when I realized that I was happy to have my mom and that I was safe. My eyes saw the world in different shades that moment. And by the way-I was not punished for the curtain. I fell asleep on my mom's knees.
