Having smelt the fragrant flowers, he walked into the kitchen, where he tasted a spoonful of soup. The soup was too hot, so he had to give it up. When he was walking in the alley , he saw an old man, who was holding a mop and a rectangular box. The old man looked so tired, so he came up to him to help.
Parents say that honesty is the best policy, but they regularly lie to their children as a way of influencing their behavior and emotions, finds new research from the University of Toronto and the University of California.
Surprisingly little has been published on the subject of parental lying, so Gail Heyman, professor of psychology at the University of California, Diem Luu, a former student of the University of California, and Kang Lee, professor at the University Toronto, set out to explore the under-researched phenomenon. They asked US participants in two related studies about parents lying to their children—either for the purpose of promoting appropriate behavior or to make them happy.
In one of the studies, many parents reported they told their young children that bad things would happen if they didn't go to bed or eat what they were supposed to. Other parents reported inventing magical creatures. One explained, "We told our daughter that if she wrapped up all her pacifiers(橡皮奶嘴)like gifts, the fair would come and give them to the children who needed them."
In the other study, the researchers surveyed college students' recollections about their parents' lying and obtained similar results: parents often lie to their children even as they tell them that lying is unacceptable.
The researchers refer to this practice as "parenting by lying"." We are surprised by how often parenting by lying takes place," said Lee. Though Heyman thinks that there are occasions when it is appropriate to be less than truthful with a child, she urges parents to think through the issues and consider alternatives before using lies.
"Children sometimes behave in ways that are disruptive or are likely to harm their long-term interests," said Heyman." It is common for them to try out a range of strategies, including lying, to stop them. However, parents should be concerned about the possible long-term negative consequences to children's beliefs about honesty."
Once when I was facing a decision that involved high risk, I went to a friend. He looked at me for a moment, and then wrote a sentence containing the best advice I've ever had: be bold and brave — and mighty(强大的)forces will come to your aid.
Those words made me see clearly that when I had fallen short in the past, it was seldom because I had tried and failed. It was usually because I had let fear of failure stop me from trying at all. On the other hand, whenever I had plunged into deep water, forced by courage or circumstance, I had always been able to swim until I got my feet on the ground again.
Boldness means a decision to bite off more than you can eat. And there is nothing mysterious about the mighty forces. They are potential powers we possess: energy, skill, sound judgement, creative ideas — even physical strength greater than most of us realize.
Admittedly, those mighty forces are spiritual ones .But they are more important than physical ones. A college classmate of mine, Tim, was an excellent football player, even though he weighed much less than the average player." In one game I suddenly found myself confronting a huge player, who had nothing but me between him and our goal line," said Tim." I was so frightened that I closed my eyes and desperately threw myself at that guy like a bullet — and stopped him cold.”
Boldness — a willingness to extend yourself to the extreme—is not one that can be acquired overnight. But it can be taught to children and developed in adults. Confidence builds up. Surely, there will be setbacks(挫折)and disappointments in life; boldness in itself is no guarantee of success. But the person who tries to do something and fails is a lot better off than the person who tries to do nothing and succeeds.
So, always try to live a little bit beyond your abilities—and you'll find your abilities are greater than you ever dreamed.
On a diet? Then consider (sit) by the window next time you eat out.
The researchers measured and mapped the design of each restaurant and then used meal checks to track diners ordered and how it related to where they sat.
The results were telling: people sitting (far) from the front door ate the fewest salads and (be) 73 per cent more likely to order desserts. Those seated at a dark table ate (heavy) food and ordered more of it, but diners sitting at high-top bar tables (order)more salads and fewer desserts.
The darker it is, the more "invisible" you might feel, the less easy is to see how much you're eating and the less guilty you might feel. Seeing the sunlight, passers-by or trees outside might make you more aware of how you look, might make you think about walking or might inspire you (choose) a green salad.
The researchers also noted that slim diners chewed around (time) per mouthful, three chews more than heavier diners. By eating more slowly, the diner spends less time it takes the brain to feel full.
